


The apple doesn’t fall too far from the tree

by MarvellouslyObsessed



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, 僕のヒーローアカデミア | Boku no Hero Academia | My Hero Academia
Genre: Dark humour ahead, HANDS DOWN, Reader has a quirk, deadpool is my favourite, hyper regeneration and shock absorption, swearing included
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-27
Updated: 2020-01-27
Packaged: 2021-02-27 12:28:05
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,860
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22437172
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MarvellouslyObsessed/pseuds/MarvellouslyObsessed
Summary: The battle with the shie hassaikai is over and a rest is well deserved...if you were ever given any to begin with.
Comments: 4
Kudos: 9





	The apple doesn’t fall too far from the tree

**Author's Note:**

> Ngl I kinda rushed this one during the end so I apologise for that but I hope you at least enjoyed it...somewhat.

Only a month into the new year and it was starting off with a bang as you, Uraraka, Tsuyu, Kirishima and Midoriya were dragged into an operation, lead by the intelligent Sir Nighteye (rip), surrounding the Yakuza group called the shie hassaikai who were lead by one Chisaki Kai, a complete sicko who believed he could erase the quirks by using the blood of a child named Eri, the grandchild of the comatose yakuza boss as she was abandoned by her mother after rewinding her father out of existence; whoever the bitch was you hoped she die a horrible death, not really an ideal mindset a hero in training should have but you didn’t really give a shit. 

To shorten the whole thing in a nutshell, you invaded their base, got distracted by some goons, the league got involved and pissed off mimic, Mirio got shot, blah, blah, blah, Midoriya kicked the bird masked, plague doctor looking motherfuckers ass with Eri’s help, the group got arrested, you were completely fine, your hero costume on the other hand...not so much.   
It took a toll on everyone but you helped your dad take down a Yakuza syndicate once before so this type of shit doesn’t really phase you like it did everyone else, what really unsettled your peers the most was that you continuously cracked dark jokes about how overhaul gets pleasure from dissecting defenceless little girls throughout the investigation, earning you some disturbed or down right disgusted looks from your peers as you cackled like a madman, swinging your katanas like baseball bats all with a skip in your step. 

Which brings us to where you were now, lounging on the lime green couch, remote in hand, flicking through channels as your chimichangas were cooking in the microwave when Mina and the girls -plus Aoyama- were coming down the stairs, all dressed in their street attire, “hey (n/n),” Mina enthusiastically waved at you from beside Jirou, who was trying not to get backhanded in the face by the energetic pinkette to her right, “you coming to the mall with us?” You lazily shook your head without looking at them as by the groan coming from her and Hagakure was all the response you needed to know that they were upset with your decision to decline, “ not this time, I’ve got chimichangas to gorge upon and a Xbox objective of being lazy to achieve.” 

“That’s ok (y/n)-san,” Momo said, in what you’d call, her mother voice as it was both soothingly soft and reassuring as if easing you back to sleep after waking up from a nightmare, “we respect your decision and hope that you’ll join us next time.” 

‘Ah now I see why Jirou is 20000% lesbian for her, not only does she have the assets, she’s got the perfect personality! Go on Jirou...tap it for good old (n/n)’ you winked at Jirou as she and the other girls walked passed your peripheral vision, casting your eyes to Momo before looking back at her, wiggling your eyebrows as she flipped you off with a red face, picking up her pace in hope of avoiding your inevitable teasing.   
“Bye (y/n)!!” Hagakure shouted over the group as they began to clear out onto the porch, slowly closing the door behind her to hear your farewell, “have fun your guys, remember to say no to drugs and yes to hugs...unless there from mineta.” She chuckled at your weird yet humorous advice as the door softly closed shut, you sigh in boredom once again as you flicked through the same hundred channels for the fourth time today in case you skipped over anything interesting only to find the same old shitty reruns of shows with outdated humour, in this massive dormitory complex all by yourself since all the guys -besides mineta and Aoyama- decided to clock in some training over at gym gamma. 

What Mineta was doing up in his sad little room is something you didn’t want to know ever nor did you give enough of a shit to even bother with that little creep, oh no he didn’t perv on you as you threatened to slice his balls off with your katanas and serve them to him under the guise of orderves that time he peaked into the whole behind a poster to spy on the girls when Jirou poked him in the eye with her earphone jack, ah...good times indeed. 

You stopped bothering to look for anything remotely good in tv after 30 minutes of carefully searching, dropping the remote haphazardly onto the coffee table you perched your feet upon as you got your phone out from your pocket to connect it to the across from you and proceeded to lazily scroll through your YouTube fee which mainly consisted of theory videos, conspiracy theories, the pilot episode for hazbin hotel and Brandon Roger’s offensive skits sprinkled here and there from how often you’ve watched them inside the confinement of your room, brushing your nosy classmates as studying...only to fail the exam your supposedly studied for the next day; Being the lazy shit that you are and being too lazy to type in a specific video into the search bar, you just let a Brandon Rogers montage video play out onscreen in the best quality money could buy, so as you were having the time of your life, immersing yourself with laughing yourself into hysterics at the grandpa character complaining to the camera about his allergy towards flowers and seeing Jesus all with a straight face, you almost didn’t hear the crashing of glass and the consecutive amount of swearing as you leapt into attack mode, your katanas were in your room but luckily for you there were twin daggers strapped to your hip 24/7 as protection in case anything like this was to occur, “WHAT’S HAPPENING DOWN THERE?!” screamed a scared shitless Mineta who must’ve heard the racket from his room, “ STAY IN YOUR LITTLE WHOLE MINETA, YOU’LL JUST GET IN THE WAY!” You screeched back at the little shithead without taking your eyes off the withering intruder. 

“WHY ARE YOU SO MEAN!!!”

“THE FANDOM HATES YOU ABOUT AS MUCH AS WE DO PISS STAIN!!” 

“WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?!” 

You blocked him out after that as the intruder began to get back up to his feet, you crouched down, daggers at the ready, your knuckles turning white from how tight you were holding the handles, eyes narrowing into a steely glare until your realised...it’s your chaotic dad in his iconic red suit that he claimed he could taste his own balls in, twin katanas strapped on his back and his guns strapped at his waist as he began to remove a large shard of glass from his abdomen, “Holy fucking shit, I’m just about as impaled as a hooker in a gang bang,”The masked vigilante groaned as he dusted himself clean of any glass shards, “Al is not going to be happy when she finds out that the cure for blindness is just cremated wolverine” 

“If it wasn’t for the fact you damaged U.A property, I would’ve given your performance a 5/10.” you came out of your attack mode and placed your daggers back at your hip as you folded your arms over your chest, clearly unimpressed, “why is this place so devoid of people, it’s almost as if the writer was too lazy to write them in this one.” Your dad said nonchalantly as he passed by you with a ruffle of your hair, still in his blood soaked costume even though his wounds are all healed, and into the kitchen just as the chimichangas were finished.   
“The writer can only do a select amount of characters which leave the rest to be written off as doing something like training or some shit as they don’t really get as much screen time as most” you replied, smacking his greedy hand constantly from stealing one of your chimichangas and back to the sofa you leapt off of just second prior with the masked merc trailing behind you trying to snatch a chimichanga from your plate, only for you to skilfully dodge his attempts, making him loose his balance and falling onto the lime green couch with a grunt, grabbing a gun from his holster and...scratched his privates, “side character syndrome...it’s nothing something that can be easily escaped nor avoided...a fate worse then death as your remembered as ‘that one guy with the deadeye’” the merc shook his head as he nicked a chimichanga from your plate, lifting up his mask to reveal scared flesh beneath, shoving the food into his mouth, groaning in pleasure at the taste. Even with that chaotic personality of his...it was almost easy to forget that your father was very insecure of his skin condition as it was a reminder of what that jackass Francis put him through, emotions isn’t something you nor your dad dealt with well but you loved your father very much as he loved his little munchkin, his babypool, you remembers when he taught you how to use all kinds of weapons and even taught you hand to hand combat, which is when you discovered your shock absorption quirk, ah good times. 

“So why are you here and why the dramatic entrance?” You asked the mercenary beside you, halfway through your chimichanga, your eyes remained glued on the television as a random video was almost over, he shrugged, “just wanted to see how my precious fetus is doing I guess, that and colossus was driving me to the brink of boredom with his speech about ‘why swearing in front of children isn’t what a hero would do’ and I have to get out of there before I blew my brains out”   
“Why not bother mom”

“She’s at work sweetie, my dick ain’t getting sucked until after 6pm” 

You grimace that the picture your dad put within your head all of a sudden as you lost your appetite, handing over the last chimichangas to your dad who happily ate them in one go, mentally celebrating the success of his plan. 

Time flew by and before you knew it your friends were making their way up the pavement, laughing and giggling with shopping bags hung from their arms as they approached the dorms and fast ‘shit’ you shouted mentally, “dad, you’ve gotta-“ you turned to where your dad was only to see him jumping out of the widow he came in from, already halfway up the street on his ridiculous red moped, shaking your head at his unintentionally timed humour, you put the dish into the sink to wash later, disconnected your phone from the tv just as the girls came in, their laughter cut short as they saw the smashed window. 

“(n/n)...what happened to the window?” Jirou asked what was on everyone’s mind, “ I got angry, so I kicked the window” was all your said as you went up the stairs to your room, leaving your befuddled classmates alone in the common area.


End file.
